What sage advice would you give to first-time parents???

Personally, I would say:





Your first child is the one that turns your life upside down the most... Getting used to the disrupted sleep pattern and that this very small soul being TOTALLY dependant on you...





Funny how all the books and websites NEVER seem to tell you straight about the upheaval...





So, what advice would you give???

What sage advice would you give to first-time parents???
Take all advice with a grain of salt.





Don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy your children. Let them wear cowboy boots with shorts or blue pants with a green shirt, red socks and an orange hat if they want (be sure to take a pic!), eat cake for breakfast occasionally, play in the rain with your children. Let the housework and meetings and deadlines go.





Enjoy each stage. You'll long for it once it passes. Don't rush your child to grow up and be so independant so fast. (ie starting solids, potty training, ect) They will grow up and be independant without you pushing them.
Reply:Relax.





Babies are pretty resiliant.
Reply:My best advice was do not change things for the baby. For example:


Don't change your thermostat. If you are comfortable, the baby will be fine and adjust. Don't change your noise level. If you are always quiet while the baby is sleeping, they will wake at every little noise.





Finally, always do what you think is best. It is not about what other people believe, it is about doing what you think is best. You may seek out answers from others but take the advice that makes you feel most easy.





A friend of mine said that she was up with the baby all night because she had a cold and the mother wanted to make sure she was breathing OK. I told her that my kids are 8 and 2 and I still check on them during the night to make sure they are breathing OK because I love them and need the reassurance that they are safe. Your life will be harder, but you will find so many more positives, you will not even notice.





GOOD LUCK!!
Reply:I would say three things:





1)Just remember that the worst part is the first three months! It's awful but just keep your head down and know that it gets so much better around 4months. By then, they've developed more physically and they start to smile and interact.





2)It's okay to walk away sometimes. I know that most parents (especially mothers) don't talk about it..but there is a dark side to being a parent. There are times when you feel yourself getting so frustrated, so angry that you're on the verge of being out of control. It's okay to feel like that and it's okay to put the baby in the crib to go compose yourself.





3)Everyone is going to give you A LOT of advice... go with your gut. Like if you start to co-sleep and your mom says that it's a bad habit to start or your wife stops breastfeeding and her girlfriend says "breast is best!!!" or whatever....don't listen to someone who isn't living it. Listen to your instincts and you all are going to be just fine. Good luck!
Reply:The best advice I can give (coming from a first time mom with a 2 month old preemie) is be patient!!!! babies only know a few things in the world, sleep eat and poop. they can't tell u yet what they want, so when they cry take a deep breath and dive in, it's a bumby ride, but you get used to it. and sometimes, when you have tried everything and they still aren't happy, just let them cry, it doesn't hurt anything. and never ever be afraid to ask for help when you need a break for a little while, parents, friends neighbors, your not a bad parent, you just need some quiet time too.
Reply:Sage advise? Listen to everyone, then make up your own mind. Be sensible and use common sense when caring for your baby. Remember that Doctors are still "practicing!" LOL As for Sages, when listening to advise, should you listen to those who are also drowning or those who have done it right? If you wanted to invest your lifes savings, who would you follow, the man who managed his money poorly or the one who is financially secure? Hummm..boy that puts a twist on all the people who, LOL, are saying "hang on, it gets better!" Watch parents who ARE doing it right. Their babies and the parents are well rested. All are healthy, their lifestyle is calm, the babies are calm and relaxed and happy, the older children are well behaved and have nice manners, and you can enjoy being with their family, etc. It is possible. :) Have fun with your baby. Thats my idea. :) diannatriplett@yahoo.com
Reply:Make sure you are financially set to have a child.





You must have insurance that covers the pregnancy, and labor/delivery.





Have maternity leave.
Reply:The most important thing is to not forget that you and your wife are lovers, best friends, and confidants. That hasn't changed, and hopefully it never will. Schedule some time for each other every day. Ten minutes a day to sit and relax with each other while your baby is sleeping will make a world of difference in relieving the stress and pressure of being new parents.





Keep the lines of communitcation between the both of you open. Whether it's discussing a parenting issue, gossip, work, the news, the bills, or something cute that your child did that day, it's important to talk about anything that you feel. Even just sitting and zoning out on the latest sitcom together can be extremely helpful in keeping the two of you in love, and in turn, provide a better life for your child.
Reply:I agree with you. My little one is now 15 months and things are smooth sailing now. It's like people with kids keep it a secret until you have one. Then they start talking about how much work they are and how the first few months are hell. I would just tell new parents to hang in there. It gets easier.........until they walk!!!!!
Reply:Be very flexible. Don't stress out when you're late to everything for the first 2 months. Use good judgment. Just don't stress out. LOL
Reply:Throw all your expectations out of the window!! We had all sorts of ideas and plans on how we would raise our son before he was born, but then found ourselves doing exactly what we'd intended not to. No amount of reading (books and websites), in our opinion, can prepare you for the actual day-to-day experience of looking after a first child. Everything from sleeping patterns and arrangements, to feeding and bathing, seem not to go the way you'd hoped. And then when you talk to other parents in the same situation, you discover that they also found themselves in a 'sink or swim' situation. Our son is now four-and-a-half, but he's never conformed to the 'model' child in all the books we studied. He even started talking very, very, late which was an additional source of worry. I'd recommend that first-time parents play things by ear as much as possible without comparing themselves and their child to others. And they should get support and encouragement from people they know or come into contact with rather than read about so-called 'average' or 'normal' children in books and magazines, or on the net.
Reply:That when you just roll with everything, the routine, including lack of sleep, becomes A LOT easier. Getting upset or stressed out makes it worse.
Reply:trust your instincts


just when you think you have them figured out...they grow a bit and everything shifts!


have fun
Reply:I found the opposite to be true. Everyone tells the new parents, sleep now! It will be horrible after the baby comes. Go out to dinner now, b/c it will be years before you can go again. You life will never be the same again. It's like people overload the newbies with negative advice.





My friend is the hospital right now preggos with twins. I told her, everyone will tell you how scary it's going to be. No one seems to tell you that you will discover a love that takes your breath away. It's an all-consuming, powerful, raw love. And it's amazing!
Reply:As a first time parent.....understand that while your life will change drastically, it will be the best change your life will ever have. Relax, enjoy every step of your child's development, don't sweat the small stuff, it's okay to make mistakes, it will get easier after the first three months, you don' t NEED all of the things that baby registries SAY you MUST have, don't be afraid to ask for help, and most of all ENJOY!!!!!!!!!
Reply:I think waking up in the middle of the night is just another great experience. It isn't always dreadful. I loved it, of course I was so tired, but you get use to it. A lot of the memories that I treasure of the baby are of night time feedings.





Just because she's the mother, don't expect her to do and know everything. I think often times the fathers feel out of place. What I'm trying to say is, just because he didn't carry the baby doesn't mean he can't change, feed, bathe, and whatever other tasks the mothers usually do. Sometimes the moms assume the fathers can't do any of this. He has instincts too.





Remember it's okay to ask for help from family.





Good luck.